2 Fighters! NO RESEARCH! 60 Seconds! Melee!!!! Who would win in a fight between Shantae of Shantae, and Filia of SKULLGIRLS? Find out in 60 quick seconds!
"(SHANTAE vs FILIA!) Battle of indie hair WEAPONRY!"
"I like (Filia), but I'm infatuated with (Shantae). These two should fight!"
"1/2 Genie Girl vs Medici BLOOD!!! These two sould test their limits!"
"Battle of the cute hair manipulators! (Sorry Millia...)"
LET'S HOPE OUR HAIR DOESN'T GET TWISTED INTO KNOTS!
ONE MINUTE MELEE!
WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!
Location: New Meridian City.
As the day was eventually winding to an end, a young "Halfling" was lost along her travels around the world. Her bouts with Risky Boots led her astray to a city of crime and misfortune.
Night has arrived, and Shantae was about to get a "Chomp" of what it feels to be in New Meridian City.
Shantae: Well... Since I'm here, I might want to find my w- What the...? Get off me! Ooof!
An anonymous young criminal was holding Shantae hostage due to her slender body. The antagonist group found their Nirvana: a belly dancer that doubles as a cosplayer. Elsewhere nearby, Filia, and her hair parasite, Samson heard some noises from one of the buildings. The two noticed it was building B-03. It was now or never; Filia barged in.
Filia: Don't you think someone is going to find us?
Samson: Bullshit. I got your back if things go wrong.
The two then found a certain 1/2 Genie Hero on the ground, tied up. Filia jumped to floor B1, only to be spotted by a group of assassins aiming at Filia, and Samson. The two rolled into a ball for increased speed, and attack, as one assassin found that getting run over by Samson as a rolling furball would kill him brutally.
Criminal: Hey, let's-let's get the fuck out of here now!
After the ordeal, Filia untied the Halfling, and put her genie suit back on. The two left the pier with little to no damage.
The Halfling introduced herself first:
Shantae: Thanks again for saving my life. I'm Shantae by the way.
Filia: Filia's mine. And this is my parasite: Samson.
Shantae was perplexed: a disease for hair? She knew chemo, but that is what the DOCTOR does.
Filia: You see... I'm trying to make a wish on the Skull Heart to-
Shantae: Get rid of Samson? You seriously desire a normal life.
Filia: um... uh...
Samson is serious about his host, since one of his previous Hosts: Delilah was murdered by Eliza He simply yelled:
Samson: I dunno how you scare my host but you're gonna get it inspector Asshole!
Shantae was indeed stunned at what Samson said. She then got to her fighting pose, waiting for Filia to get into hers.
Samson: She deserved it...
Filia: No she didn't! It's your fault that we have to fight her! Fine... I accept your challenge, Shantae!
(WARNING! RUSSIAN DICTATOR VOICE FROM THE STEAM VERSION OF SKULLGIRLS AHEAD!)
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
TIME TO FIGHT!
59.9-54.3 As Samson rolled into a ball, Shantae was about to use a Fireball from her index finger. Before the load time finished, Samson, and Filia were grinding Shantae as if it were a sawblade.
54.2-47.7 Before Samson could trample onto Shantae, she used her Hair whip to whack Filia, and her parasite, out of her way. She then did a belly dance that SOMEHOW transformed her into an elephant. As Filia was getting up, She noticed something different: There was a Pachyderm in front of her, where Shantae was. Not having ant time for answers, the two used Metamorphosis to charge at the Elephant, but she was Bigger, stronger, faster, and better than a regular charge attack; Metamorphosis Backfired!
47.6-31.4 Filia was trapped in the charge of an elephant's fury! Building after Building it crashed through, breaking bones like it's nobody's business. Eventually, the whole place was turned to rubble, with Filia, and Samson on the ground below them.
31.3-25.6 The elephant changed back to Shantae, and she attempted to use that fire move that failed before. As a beaten, battered, and bruised Filia was getting up, she saw Shantae using another fire attack. as she successfully charged up the attack, she threw it at Filia, who narrowly avoided 3rd degree burns.
25.5-14.7 The Area was Surrounded in flames, as Samson transformed into a giant hair mass that coughed up a giant hairball. The attack was on fire as Shantae threw a fireball on the mass of tangled hair, Backfiring the attack, and burning Shantae in the process. Filia then charged at Shantae, and did an upperkick, which threw Shantae into the fire...
14.6-0.1 Shantae, not ready to die, Stop, Dropped, and rolled the fire off, but much too late, as Filia was about to use her other super...
(Cues [Soul Calibur IV Critical Finish Theme])
As Filia had Samson Chomp on Shantae, she as sent flying as ANOTHER mouth chomped on her, making the scene look like a fatality...
Both Filia, and her parasite ran as fast as they could before they got caught. Neither wanted to be seen as criminals either. They went on trying to fight those who get in their way of fighting the Skullgirl...
THIS MElEE'S VICTORY GOES TO... FILIA MEDICI!
Ellen: WHAT! Shiki Ryougi?! She's WAY weaker than ANY of the spirits even separately! Itsuka Shido even...
Sir Isaac Ray Peram Westcott (Ike): Oh, my lady, you haven't seen her full extent! She has the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, an ability that allows her to see lines that can kill even Kurumi Tokisaki in ONE GODDAMN ATTACK!!! Surely you'd understand that!
Ellen: ... What...? Spirits are... Weak? And I've been humiliated this whole time because of my weaknesses?
Sir Issac Ray Peram Westcott: YES! And that's not all! Her split personality includes one of an Omni-Creator; AKASHA! Thus proving her Omnipotence!
Ellen: Are... you sure this is all true?
Sir Issac Ray Peram Westcott: Of course! She's also just... like... you. Me even!
Ellen: Like that bastard Elliot?
Sir Issac Ray Peram Westcott: Nonononononono! I mean Cold, Ruthless, Mean, and Emotionless; Hating EVERYTHING, but still doing it without a reason! I mean, even as she lost her SHIKI personality from a coma, and is liking the tings she HATES JUST AS EQUALLY! HAHAHAHAHAH! Oh this is fricken RICH!
Ellen: ... You know what? You're on to something... And I'm now liking it. Ike, get me ready. I'll find Shiki Ryougi, and murder her for the sins the both of us commited...
(NEXT TIME: Adeptus 1 X AKASHA)