2 Fighters! No research! 60 seconds! MELEE!!!! Who would win between Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla and the main attraction of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, the pirate fox animatronic, the scariest animatronic rabbit in history and the ugly animatronic chicken? Find out in 60 quick seconds?
ONE MINUTE MELEE!
WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!
2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS!
Ian and Anthony take a job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.
Ian: Are you sure about this, Anthony? Taking a job at some stupid pizzeria with stupid animals?
Anthony: To tell you the truth, this is getting boring. Sitting here for the night.
The phone rings. Anthony picks it up.
Anthony: Ian and Anthony here, can we help you?
Phone Guy: Hello, hello?
Anthony: (Mimicking) Hello hello!
Phone Guy: Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night.
Anthony: But your order, sir? Is this some kind of trick?
Phone Guy: Oh, uh, (Laughs) No! I worked in this office.
Anthony: Oh, sorry! Now, our message?
Phone Guy: Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real real risk to you as a night watchman--
Ian: Night watchmen.
Phone Guy: Oh, yes, sorry, night watchmen. Anyway the only real risk to you as night watchmen here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as people. They'll p-most likely see you as metal endoskeletons without their costumes on.
Anthony: Are they idiots?
Phone Guy: Now since that's the rules at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza...
Anthony: Kind of rules are these?!
Phone Guy:...they'll probably try to... forcefully stuff you in Freddy Fazbear suits.
Anthony: Do they wanna play Dress Up or something?
Phone Guy: Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your heads forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort... and death.
Anthony is in too much shock to answer.
Phone Guy: Uh, the only parts of you that would likely say the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.
Ian and Anthony look at each other in shock and fear.
Phone Guy: Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up.
Anthony: Why don't they?! Satan made this place!
Phone Guy: But hey, first day should be a breeze.
Anthony: Should be a breeze?! Hang on a second here...
Phone Guy: I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors if absolutely necessary.
Anthony closes the doors as soon as Phone Guy finishes his sentence.
Phone Guy: Gotta conserve power.
Anthony: Aw, what?!
Phone Guy: Alright, good night. (Hangs up)
NICE WARNING! FIGHT!
Anthony: Is he crazy?! We'll never survive!
Ian: Don't doubt yourself. We defeated impossible things, like when we beat Super Mario Bros. (Whispering) God, I hate that game. We managed to break the talking curse--
Anthony: YOU-- You better not bring that up.
Ian: Sorry! Anyway, we accomplished hard things. We should do this.
Anthony: Yeah. WE CAN DO THIS!
Right on cue, Freddy Fazbear screams in their faces.
THIS MELEE'S VICTORY GOES TO...